We’re constantly bombarded with ads touting our 21st century culture. Paper-thin cell phones you can watch television on. Windshield wipers that activate when they sense rain. Even laptops you can use while taking a shower.
Actually, I’m in the shower now. That’s right. And I’m not ashamed to say I use one of those Poofy things.
But with our technological advancements, you’d expect communication to be more efficient and less time consuming. And if you’ve ever left or received a voicemail message then you know what I mean.
“Hi, this is Tom. I can’t take your call but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.” After the tone, please leave your voice message. After you finish recording, you can hang up, or press pound for more options.
Really?!? After the tone, I can speak…and I can hang up when I’m done? That’s insane! I didn’t know that. Did you know that? Man, I can’t even fathom what the pound button does…
I may not seem grateful now, but I couldn’t imagine living without a cell phone. How did people do it? I make at least three pointless “Ahh whatcha doing?” phone calls everyday. And I’ve had entire arguments with my girlfriend via text message.
Texting is the new “it” way to talk to someone anytime you want and before that, it was Instant Messenger. I used to be on it all the time but the phenomenon has become too big for me. I have about a million friends on my buddy-list…and half of them have about three screen names. And they have cheesy away messages like “finding my inner superstar - be back from class @ 2.” People don’t even type whole words on it. Everything has to be quick and to-the-point. Who has the time to write “Laugh out loud” when “LOL” can be used instead? Add that to “TTYL” and “BRB” and every other word is an acronym.
My father, however, must’ve totally missed that bus. I mean missed it like, he had no idea that bus existed. I’m going to take you back 5 years when I was sitting in my college dorm chatting with my brother back home:
***Quick note: My entire family is black. My brother, however, thought he was Spanish for some reason. It was really weird. He watched a lot of Telemundo and Univison. Anyway, back to the chat.***
DrewHil: Hey, I haven’t talked to Daddy in a long time.. You should put him on but I don’t think he’s done this before.
SenorPapiChulo: No, I don’t think he has but I’ll get him. I’m about to put some beans on the stove anyway. --- Here he is.
DrewHil: Hi Daddy. What’s going on down in the City?
(6 and a half minutes later)
SenorPapiChulo: Andy? Can you hear me on this thing? Over.
DrewHil: Lol. Daddy, you’re not in the Korean War anymore. And this isn’t a walkie talkie. You don’t have to say “over.”
(3 minutes later)
SenorPapiChulo: Andy? You there? Over.
DrewHil: LOL
(Another 3 minutes)
SenorPapiChulo: Well hi, Lol. Can you tell Andy to call me later? Out.
My father’s still upset he’s never met my friend with the weird name.
I watch TV today and I’m not shocked we don’t understand one another. How could I be? Turn on any channel and you’re bound to hear some cliché that makes no sense but one that, as a society, we can’t let go.
“That’s the way the cookie crumbles.” What does that mean? Who the hell crumbles cookies? See, it would make sense if it were a cracker or something - at least that goes in soup. Here’s another one, “What goes around, comes around.” Well, I've done about ten mean things to people in the past week, and everyone's been just peachy to me. And being the only black kid in the history of Harlem to own a boomerang, I know for a fact that isn't true. I hear a stupid saying at least once a day and, frankly, I can’t believe Dateline hasn’t done a special on this yet.
But that’s what makes our society great. We hold onto the past, while embracing the future. We take hold of the dog by the tail and wag it…Or something like that. The cat’s out of the bag, my fellow Americans. This thing we call technology is upon us.
Now, if you’d excuse me, it's my anniversary and I have some texting to do.
Actually, I’m in the shower now. That’s right. And I’m not ashamed to say I use one of those Poofy things.
But with our technological advancements, you’d expect communication to be more efficient and less time consuming. And if you’ve ever left or received a voicemail message then you know what I mean.
“Hi, this is Tom. I can’t take your call but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.” After the tone, please leave your voice message. After you finish recording, you can hang up, or press pound for more options.
Really?!? After the tone, I can speak…and I can hang up when I’m done? That’s insane! I didn’t know that. Did you know that? Man, I can’t even fathom what the pound button does…
I may not seem grateful now, but I couldn’t imagine living without a cell phone. How did people do it? I make at least three pointless “Ahh whatcha doing?” phone calls everyday. And I’ve had entire arguments with my girlfriend via text message.
Texting is the new “it” way to talk to someone anytime you want and before that, it was Instant Messenger. I used to be on it all the time but the phenomenon has become too big for me. I have about a million friends on my buddy-list…and half of them have about three screen names. And they have cheesy away messages like “finding my inner superstar - be back from class @ 2.” People don’t even type whole words on it. Everything has to be quick and to-the-point. Who has the time to write “Laugh out loud” when “LOL” can be used instead? Add that to “TTYL” and “BRB” and every other word is an acronym.
My father, however, must’ve totally missed that bus. I mean missed it like, he had no idea that bus existed. I’m going to take you back 5 years when I was sitting in my college dorm chatting with my brother back home:
***Quick note: My entire family is black. My brother, however, thought he was Spanish for some reason. It was really weird. He watched a lot of Telemundo and Univison. Anyway, back to the chat.***
DrewHil: Hey, I haven’t talked to Daddy in a long time.. You should put him on but I don’t think he’s done this before.
SenorPapiChulo: No, I don’t think he has but I’ll get him. I’m about to put some beans on the stove anyway. --- Here he is.
DrewHil: Hi Daddy. What’s going on down in the City?
(6 and a half minutes later)
SenorPapiChulo: Andy? Can you hear me on this thing? Over.
DrewHil: Lol. Daddy, you’re not in the Korean War anymore. And this isn’t a walkie talkie. You don’t have to say “over.”
(3 minutes later)
SenorPapiChulo: Andy? You there? Over.
DrewHil: LOL
(Another 3 minutes)
SenorPapiChulo: Well hi, Lol. Can you tell Andy to call me later? Out.
My father’s still upset he’s never met my friend with the weird name.
I watch TV today and I’m not shocked we don’t understand one another. How could I be? Turn on any channel and you’re bound to hear some cliché that makes no sense but one that, as a society, we can’t let go.
“That’s the way the cookie crumbles.” What does that mean? Who the hell crumbles cookies? See, it would make sense if it were a cracker or something - at least that goes in soup. Here’s another one, “What goes around, comes around.” Well, I've done about ten mean things to people in the past week, and everyone's been just peachy to me. And being the only black kid in the history of Harlem to own a boomerang, I know for a fact that isn't true. I hear a stupid saying at least once a day and, frankly, I can’t believe Dateline hasn’t done a special on this yet.
But that’s what makes our society great. We hold onto the past, while embracing the future. We take hold of the dog by the tail and wag it…Or something like that. The cat’s out of the bag, my fellow Americans. This thing we call technology is upon us.
Now, if you’d excuse me, it's my anniversary and I have some texting to do.
Out.
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